


see you tomorrow

by sylphrenas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, OR IS IT??, Unrequited Love, do not read this if you're looking for happy times, mainly dorlene centric, other members of the order are minor characters, very angsty, you dont get to find out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27692288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sylphrenas/pseuds/sylphrenas
Summary: Her voice broke slightly and as she started to stand up, she whispered, “I’m sorry. I love you.” Dorcas turned toward the door and began to walk toward it, letting her grip on Marlene’s hand relax though it pained her with every millimeter of skin that slipped away from her.
Relationships: Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes
Kudos: 15





	see you tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sirrriusblack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirrriusblack/gifts).



Dorcas sometimes wondered what the point was.  _ We’re all gonna die anyway,  _ she’d say.  _ Why does any of this matter?  _ It was always rhetorical, never too serious; she knew the point. She did her best on everything, from school to friendships to anything and everything else. She knew that if she didn’t put all her effort in, someone could get hurt. Everyone could get hurt. Which was why she had joined the Order, seventeen years old and barely out of Hogwarts.  _ War is cruel,  _ she reminded herself when she hesitated.  _ We all have to do our part, ready or not.  _ So she had gripped Marlene’s hand tight as they apparated to the headquarters and swore themselves in. She had looked around that day, and noticed nearly everyone around her was in her graduating class. Lily, James, Alice, Frank,  _ Marlene.  _ They had all joined for a reason. They all had someone to protect.

But what if the person Dorcas wanted to protect was also in the order? This question was what led Dorcas to Dumbledore’s office at nearly midnight. She had hammered her fist on the door until the old man opened it, a mildly curious expression on his face and not looking the least bit surprised as he beckoned her inside.  _ Please,  _ Dorcas remembered herself saying,  _ you can’t let her go on missions. They’re too dangerous. Just- don’t let her, okay? Come up with a reason not to. I don’t care what it is. Please. _ And then she had heard the soft gasp behind her. And she turned around and saw Marlene’s stricken face. Dorcas felt something inside her break when Marlene’s expression turned from shock to disbelief to anger. In a different world, Dorcas would have found the fire in Marlene’s eyes alluring, might have drawn closer and closer until they were inches away from each other, until all she could see was  _ Marlene Marlene Marlene.  _ But now, she was frozen. And as Marlene gave her a final glare before shaking her head and running away, Dorcas didn’t know what to do. So after what felt like years of standing stock still, not knowing what to do, she followed her. But when she got to Marlene’s room, she hesitated for a moment, debating whether to go in. She shook her head slightly, clearing away any hesitation, and opened the door, softly shutting it behind her. The moon shone a dim light through the window and across the bed where Marlene was laying, curled up and snoring softly. Something in Dorcas twisted softly at the sight of her, not unpleasant but still a dull ache in her being. She hated when Marlene was angry ever. But Marlene had never been really angry at her before, and Dorcas didn’t know what to do. She slowly made her way over to the bed and sat down carefully, the bed sinking slightly under her weight. She glanced over at the sleeping girl, who was still breathing evenly and had her face turned away, buried in the pillow. If it wasn’t so serious, Dorcas would have laughed at how her limbs were splayed in all directions, taking up more space in the bed than seemed fitting for her small frame. But now all Dorcas could do was reach over to take Marlene’s limp hand in her own.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into the darkness. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I just got so worried because-” her voice faltered here and she felt the ache in her chest stronger than ever as she said the one thing she could never say during the day. “Because I love you. And not like friends. I’m sorry, Marls, so, so sorry, I just didn’t know what else to do. I don’t know why I’m saying all this when you’re asleep, but I figured you wouldn’t want to listen in the morning, so I might as well just say it now so at least I feel better… sorry. I’m rambling. I just wanted you to be safe. I’m sorry. I’ll go now. I don’t- I don’t even know why I’m here, honestly. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Her voice broke slightly and as she started to stand up, she whispered, “I’m sorry. I love you.” Dorcas turned toward the door and began to walk toward it, letting her grip on Marlene’s hand relax though it pained her with every millimeter of skin that slipped away from her. 

Just as her fingers brushed the tips of Marlene’s, a grip on her palm yanked her back to the bed. It was sudden, and as much as she had been training to have better balance, the unexpected jolt pulled her too far too fast, and she tripped on the mattress, falling onto the bed and just barely bracing her elbows on either side of a  _ very  _ awake Marlene. She stared at Marlene. Marlene stared back, a little bit bleary-eyed but mostly confused and irritated.  _ Not off to a great start, Dorcas.  _

“What- what are you doing here?” Marlene’s sleepy voice was the most adorable sound Dorcas had ever heard and she had to shake her head to clear away the thoughts about wanting to hear it again and again and again foreve-  _ Dorcas. Focus. She asked a question. _

“Oh- I- Nothing!”

Marlene stared up at her, unimpressed. “Dorcas, I’ve known you for seven years. I know when you’re lying.”

_ And yet you can’t tell I’m in love with you.  _ “Did you just wake up?” Dorcas asked, simultaneously deflecting and wondering how much she had revealed accidentally.

Marlene appeared to visibly hesitate before responding, “...Yeah. Why? Did you say something?”

“Does it matter?” The words shot out before Dorcas could stop herself. “You’re mad at me.”

“Merlin, Dorcas, what’s wrong with you? We’re still friends, I do still care.” Marlene’s eyes were now wide with concern and Dorcas forced herself to look away from the other girl’s lips. She flinched at  _ friends _ and fought to hold back the tears that were steadily rising within her.

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

This time, when she walked away, Marlene let her.

\--

The next morning, Dorlene woke up late to a silent house.  _ Weird,  _ she thought to herself. Normally, Sirius would be singing or someone would be training or Marlene would be talking to someone, her bright voice filling the house and reminding everyone of why they were there. 

She walked down the stairs and found everyone clustered in the kitchen. And Sirius- Sirius was crying. She frantically scanned the room for Remus. Peter. James. Lily. Mary. Alice. Frank. Marlene.  _ Wait… where the hell is Marlene?  _ Everything went cold and she felt like she had been pushed into a frozen river, clawing her way back up but weighed down by her own limbs. She felt her body collapse onto the floor, but she was too far away to care. Dimly, she recognized Mary and Lily’s concerned faces as they leaned over her. She saw their mouths moving, forming some sort of meaningless platitude that no one believed. She couldn’t hear them. She couldn’t hear anything. Nothing except her words from last night.  _ It doesn’t matter. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll see you tomorrow.  _

After what felt like years, Dorcas felt her mind clear with a strange, empty clarity. She stood up, brushing off the hands that were hovering around her in case she fell. She walked toward Dumbledore, who was sitting at the head of the table with everyone around him. Everyone made way for her but she didn’t give any of them a second thought. She finally reached Dumbledore, and he looked up with what was meant to be an understanding expression, but all she saw was the face of the man responsible for killing Marlene. She looked into Dumbledore’s pale blue eyes and hated everything she saw. She hated his calmness. She hated that he understood. She hated that he was trying to sympathize. She hated the reflection of herself in his pupils. She hated the tear-stained, lip-trembling, broken face that looked back at her through that small black circle. 

“How?” Dorcas asked, forcing her voice to remain still and devoid of any emotion. It didn’t take much effort. She felt almost hollowed out; like the news had reached inside and scooped out anything that she could have felt. Now she was just cold. Cold and angry.

Dumbledore sighed. “She went to be with her family. She didn’t tell me if it was permanent or not.”

“Well, it’s not like that matters now, anyway.” Her voice was hard and unfeeling, and she heard Alice gasp softly behind her. “Did they die too?”

He nodded and when she showed no reaction, he looked at her for another long moment before he placed what was meant to be a comforting hand on hers.

“The important thing is that she did not die in vain. She took down several Death Eaters and now we can continue fighting in her memory.”

Dorcas gripped her wand tighter.  _ When had she picked it up? _ Holding it at all times had become a reflex at this point. Without another word, she turned around and walked toward the door. Lily and Mary called out to her and Alice reached for her hand, but she walked past all of them. The only one she made eye contact with was Sirius, and he briefly nodded at her before turning away. She opened the door and prepared to apparate to the spot Snape had once mentioned as the place Voldemort was most likely to be found. The place no one had had the courage to stage a raid at. Not even Dumbledore. As she spun on her heel, wand at the ready and lips already forming the first syllables of a lethal curse, she had only one thought in her mind.  _ Damn right, she didn’t die in vain. And I won’t either.  _

With that last determination, she let the familiar twist of apparition pull her away for the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!! kudos and comments appreciated :)
> 
> find me on tumblr @blue-drarry-drarry-blue


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